No-one told me how heart breaking this would be
How hard to take one breath at a time could be for me,
Just how big the hole left is, a ravine the size of the Grand Canyon
And a darkness impenetrable to infinity and beyond,
A loneliness to engulf the world several times over
A wordless silence does my every moment cover,
As the realisation hits that our worlds no longer combine
And what I once thought was ours is now only mine.
I'm told time is the great healer but his hands move slower every day
The sun doesn't come up, clouds block the light in every way,
The hounds of despair stand whining outside the door morning, noon and night
While the blessings of sleep have disappeared back to heaven and out of sight,
A mask I choose to wear for the benefit of those I pass and see
But it wouldn't take much to look within and view the frozen me,
For reality is just not viable, not an option at this moment in time
As my heart shatters at the prospect of the road that has become mine.
I cannot bear it, my heart knows not where to turn, knows not how to stand
For the one it leaned on, the one it relied on, has slipped out of my hand,
I know tomorrow will come, for it is destined so to do
But it might as well stay in the future for it means nothing without you,
I thought you were my world, my reason to live, my everything
And you still are, still will be, even though my heart no longer sings,
My spirit is at this moment trapped in its vault of memories with a lost key
Looking, longing for a reason for why things like this should be.
For deep is the darkness that now by angel wings needs to be lifted
So that precious moments may be to me once more gifted,
I pray that my heart finds the strength to move forward, a reason to go on
But without a distancing from who we were, what together we had done,
For deep is the darkness that stands between me and a future filled with light
But because of you and all you mean I will stand once more and fight,
I will pick up this shattered and weary body, mind, soul and heart
And one day show this world that with your love embedded within I can once more play my part.